There’s a lot going on in our culture concerning marriage. And I mean a lot. It seems as though the hot button the past week or so has been “marriage”.
I was sitting, staring at my screen realizing that a lot is happening in my own life concerning marriage. Between participating in a couple of weddings, leading pre-marital counseling and celebrating my 10-year wedding anniversary this year, marriage is definitely on the forefront of my mind. Add to that add the happenings in our culture and you’ve got one big lump of thoughts on marriage.
So I thought I’d throw these few thoughts out there concerning lies about this bwessed wunion we call mairwage (Princess Bride nod for ya).
- The Lie: Marriage is slavery/burdensome
Of course joking around is fun, but any joke can go too far. A popular one is the whole ball-and-chain being attached to the groom to resemble the “chains” that the bride would place on him. My take on it: hogwash.
Marriage was never intended to be viewed as such. Ever.
The Truth:
“…submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” – Ephesians 5:21
If you’ve believed the lie that marriage is slavery or burdensome… or even bought into the joke, it’s not. Marriage is about serving one another.
My Experience:
When I see beyond myself and realize that I am to love my wife as Jesus loves the Church, it puts everything into proper perspective. Marriage isn’t about what I get out of it, it’s what I get to put in in order to serve Hannah. Sure the benefit is great, but what’s more fulfilling is seeing my beloved feel loved, cherished and prized.
Now maybe you’re in a situation where it IS burdensome because your spouse is not honoring or is not truly demonstrating love. If that is the case, I’m sorry. It doesn’t have to be that way though. Is it possible there are different ways you could serve them so that they may see your heart and the error of their ways?
- The Lie: Marriage isn’t worth it
I’ve heard this so many times from so many people, including those married and those not.
The Truth:
“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:5-6
Marriage is costly and it is worth every ounce of payment on my part and more.
There is sacrifice in marriage. There is laying down of pride. There is growing up and leaving home. There is working through issues and sticking it out.
As my wife recently said in a blog post: ”Our culture is very ‘me’-centric. We have this strange idea that if something is good, it will never inconvenience us.”
Marriage can be inconvenient, but it is worth it.
My Experience:
Hannah and I have a great marriage. To say that we have a perfect marriage would be lie. We are both human and we both have our weaknesses and both sin. However, we’ve found that working through stuff together makes us stronger and we grow closer together because of it. Sometimes I’m at fault. I must lay down my pride and apologize. Sometimes she’s at fault and she does the same.
I WOULD NOT BE THE MAN I AM TODAY if I had ever thought marriage was not worth it and given up.
I realize that everyone’s situation is not the same as ours. However, if you are in a tough situation where you are considering the “worth” of marriage, I would encourage you to ask Jesus to help you see the worth of sticking it out. Ask Him to help you to swallow pride if need be and apologize/repent to your spouse… because marriage is worth it.
What it really boils down to is most of the lies and misconceptions about marriage are centered around self and not the union as a whole, as God originally created the union. When we get our eyes off our self and on to Jesus and the whole picture He’s painted our perspective may actually change.
